• Is it August already?
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1. While it feels like summer just began, it’s time to prepare for the fall and everything that comes with it, including a return to school. Parents and children alike may be dreading the bedtime struggles, early wake-ups, packing of lunches, homework, and other tasks that are part and parcel of school attendance. Here, we’ll touch on what causes back to school anxiety, how it might manifest, and ways we can ease the transition.

2. The end of carefree, sunshiny, extended summer days and the start of a more rigid, indoor, demanding school season is going to induce feelings of anxiety. This might look like insecurity or clinginess in younger children, avoidance or isolation in middle schoolers, or even aggressive or inflammatory behavior in teens. Children under 5 might worry about being away from their home or parents all day, making new friends, or entering an unfamiliar environment. Elementary school students may have concerns about fitting in and finding friend groups. Middle school students could be starting the year in a new wing or building, which adds to feeling adrift in unfamiliar territory. High schoolers might have learned from movies that there is a legacy of upperclassmen picking on younger students. They may fear getting bullied or taking a social misstep. The pressures in high school are academic, but the social paradigm is a burden as well. Who is dating, who had a growth spurt, who got their license or even their own car…? Success in these terms isn’t necessarily a product of hard work, but also socioeconomic status, genetics, and luck.

3. While some of these factors are out of our hands, there are steps we can take as parents to help mitigate all of this unease:

   ♦  When you talk about the start of the school year, try to hype up the opportunity, and say out loud how proud you are of your child(ren) for advancing to the next grade.

4. ♦  If you have a student starting at a new location, see if you can tour the the facility or at least visit the outside of the building to note the size and layout. You might point out an exciting playground, or a nearby ice cream shop you could visit.

   ♦  Anxiety escalates with the unknown. If your child is concerned about not knowing anyone at their new school, make a playdate with a classmate during the summer. Then they’ll have a familiar face in the
   classroom.

   ♦  If your student struggled academically last school year, they may need extra support. Reach out to the administration and make sure this is on their radar. If your child carries any diagnosis that impacts them at school (anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, learning differences), communicate with their teachers to let them know. Do not assume this information gets passed from one year to the next.

   ♦  To mitigate the systemic shock of a change in routine (especially if your teen has been taking advantage of a bedtime that has crept from later-PM hours to early-AM ones), start this transition early. It may take more than two weeks to re-set your child’s internal clock to fit their school schedule.

   ♦  Validate your child’s worry, and create a safe space for them to share their feelings, even if they find them embarrassing. Comment positively on brave behaviors and be generous with praise even just for making an effort.

   Change is always destabilizing. Don’t underestimate the power you have to help ease the back to school transition by making sure your child is prepared for this shift. Physically, that includes the backpack, school supplies, lunch box, completing summer homework, and acquiring school uniform/clothes/shoes. It may also incorporate an on-site tour (if the space is new to your child), connecting with other families in the class, and giving the teachers and administration a heads-up about any academic challenges you foresee based on past experiences. Emotionally, that means putting an honest but positive spin on this opportunity, complimenting your child for taking small brave steps, validating their concerns without amplifying them, and keeping the lines of communication non-judgmental and wide open.

Written by Dr. Carly Wilbur, UH Pediatrician and PSI Medical Director.